Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
