One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
