So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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