you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Michael Bay diarrhea
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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