I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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