Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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