Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize