i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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