that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
