I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we made out on top of his cat.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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