if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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