I want to stick my p in your. b.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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