I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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