we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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