love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
