I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You can't just leave with hair like that
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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