So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
