Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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