I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Randomize
