Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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