i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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