his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
