I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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