Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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