His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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