u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
