I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
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I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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