He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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