I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
