Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
