The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
