so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
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I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
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We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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