are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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