Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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