I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
