I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The beer is more important than you right now.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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