i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
