I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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