I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
