Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
