maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
