Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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