How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
