Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
