my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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