I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I have fence marks all over my body
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
