He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
