Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
