it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
