We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
