Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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