and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Already got asked if we're dating
So drunk its hurt
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
