I'm jealous of your bromance
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
