So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
