Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
