Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
