I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
