I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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