You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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