Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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