Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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