I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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