i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
